I don’t know about you, but the second September rolls around, I get a pang of anxiety and my inner gremlin moans, “The year is almost over lady and what have you accomplished?”
I won’t bore you with the non-foodie stuff, but I am getting a sense of urgency to check some things off of my list that I have been talking about for a long time.
Allow me to qualify something, I am not one of those foodies that says, “Hey, I killed and gutted a deer this weekend, ya’ll want to come over have some deer jerky and deer cupcakes?” I don’t live for pushing foodie limits. I don’t own an immersion circulator, although I do own a meat slicer and a meat grinder and these are the two most daring items in my kitchen.
If you are knowledgable in any of the areas below, let me know and we’ll make a video!
MY FOODIE CHALLENGES TO TAKE ON BEFORE THE END OF 2012!
OVEN DRIED BEEF JERKY
ok, I did joke about the deer jerky, but I think that beef jerky shouldn’t be so hard to make. My man always buys a pack of the bad stuff for fishing and road trips.. and that is full of nitrates and God knows what that meat was like before it was jerkied. I want to start with good quality meat and good quality seasonings… I would love a protein-rich snack that isn’t packed with sodium.
OVEN DRIED FRUIT
I walk up and down the aisles of Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods and stare at the dried fruit… and almost pick up packages of dried mangos and apples, but then I remember that the last packet I had was either packed with sugar or tasted like a sandal. I want to start with whatever fruit is in season and delicious to begin with and add nothing to it.
BREAD OF ANY KIND
I have the world’s most beautiful Kitchen Aid standing mixer and I have used it twice. I believe every citizen of the world should know how to make some kind of bread. I would love to know how to make a baguette, but it turns out that baguettes are not easy to make well.
HOME MADE PASTA
I usually don’t eat pasta at home, which is probably why I am not shaped like a barrel. Pasta goes straight to my belly and waist thanks to my Colombian Indian heritage. Chubby waist is good for carrying babies. We have a built-in baby Bjorn. I digress. I would like to know how to make pasta. Those guys on tv make it look so easy and the home made pasta I have had at good restaurants is just amazing and puts Barilla to shame. (When I gain weight, I look like Mr. Peanut or Sponge Bob.)
PERFECT HARD BOILED EGGS
You laugh, but can you make 10 perfectly hard boiled eggs without the green ring around the outside? We bought the little do hickey for $30 at BBB and let me tell you, it sucks and is unhygenic because you have to poke holes in the shell in order to cook them.
POACHING AND/OR STEAMING FISH
Poaching fish is not so popular in the US of A, but in Spain and France, it is pretty common. Good fish can be great very simply prepared and poaching it keeps the fish moist while imparting delicate flavors from wine and herbs.
I am not one of these gals that gets sad and eats a quart of Hagen Daz… I get sad and I go for the fried chicken, HOWEVER, I LOVE heavy cream and if I can make ice cream that is mostly cream with just a touch of flavor, I might become an ice cream ho.
If you know me and you are reading this, you are saying, “WHAT” Claudia and biscuits? That is like saying Romney and Planned Parenthood. Everyone has their secrets and one of mine is that I love a good buttery, flaky and hot buttermilk biscuits, but I don’t eat them often for two reasons.. Biscuits go straight my belly and two most people make bad biscuits. My favorites are from Popeyes and I also love the cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster… only problem is I actually have to go there to get them. The number one mistake people use when makin biscuits is over handling/kneading… and warm butter. These two things equal hockey pucks. I think people are gonna start callin me Miss Claudia once they taste my flakey biscuits.
MARK’S SPRING ROLLS WITH APPLES AND CREAM CHEESE
Why have I procrastinated 7 years to make these guys? I have photographed the process and even assisted a few times. They are some of the most amazing things I have ever eaten and yet… I am afraid. The best thing would be for Mark and Cody to come to SF before the year is over and help me make them. HINT.