Dear Kids, Trump was kinda my fault and that’s why I must make peace with this shit show.

I don’t know about you, but ever since Donald Trump entered the presidential race in the first place and then proceeded to “win” said race, I have not been a well woman.

Fast forward to the last few months, and I can tell you that I have not experienced this much continual anxiety, anger and sadness since… I can’t remember – and I had a weird childhood.

Every day, I wake up with a heaviness in my heart, and I rack my brain for how anyone can possibly give this person another four years. I won’t recite the litany of reasons not-to here. You may scan my Instagram account for these. (I have pissed off and alienated many.)

My opinion has not changed, and I still wake up in the morning with a boulder on my chest, so how can I possibly be at peace with the shit show?

I have an acquaintance on Facebook who has been prolific at attempting to explain to his Trump-supporting friends, why Trump does not have their best interests in mind. I have no other Facebook friends that expound the non-existent virtues of Trump, so this guy’s posts have been my only opportunity to peek into what some Trump supporters are saying in response to truth, reason and logic, and it isn’t pretty. A few days ago, this acquaintence announced that he would be voting Libertarian. My eyes popped out of my head. I was sure that he would be voting for Biden. I wrote to him asking how, after all that he has posted, can he give a vote to Trump by voting Libertarian? His abbreviated response was, “My vote is worth more to me,” and “And if that horrible thing happens, life will go on.”

I have a thousand arguments for how life will not simply go on, but they are not going to change anyone’s opinion. As I read somewhere on Instagram, “We won’t change the minds of Trump supporters with facts, logic, or appeals of decency… If they were influenced by this, they wouldn’t be Trump supporters.” If you don’t believe this, watch the latest Borat film.

I believe that Trump is a manifestation of complacency. It is my fault that Trump is President. I, along with millions of liberals, didn’t vote when things were generally good. I didn’t bother to become informed for years and took for granted all of the wonderful freedoms that other non-complacent liberals fought and, sometimes, died for. How many of us went to sleep the night of the last election, assuming that we would wake up to Hillary Clinton as President and not Trump even though the numbers were looking terrible? (But she won the popular vote! – but that’s, unfortunately, not how it works) (but Russia tampered with… Doesn’t matter. Shit show.)

Every time I receive an email from an actor or pop star, telling me that they are supporting Biden, all I can do is put my hands in my face and think, are we doing this again? We did this the last time by staging music concerts in front of Trump’s home. Why? How is this going to sway the thousands of people that don’t feel understood or represented? 

I don’t understand our political system. You bet your ass I voted for Biden and Harris, but I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that more campaign money equals more support. Shouldn’t each candidate have exactly the same amount of campaign money? I have given small amounts of money to Biden’s campaign, and it doesn’t feel right. Every email that I get demanding more money because the opposition is super-funded makes me want to move to a remote island with a cow (half n half), a goat (cheese), some chickens (everything) and some seeds and just leave this shit show that I semi-created behind.

We are a spoiled country. We are a divided country. Many of us let Trump happen. The system doesn’t work. We need a new system and this may only happen if people get angry, scared or hungry enough to care.

I do not adhere to the “Democrats good, Republicans bad” school of thought. I think these parties no longer serve a common good. 

No amount of angry Instagram posts, t-shirts or Facebook rants are going to convince Trump sympathizers to vote for Biden, let alone staunch Trump supporters.

My making peace with the shit show doesn’t mean that I don’t still have hope and that I didn’t vote like my life depended on it. (Oh wait, it does.) It doesn’t mean that I will not continue to try to effect positive change. I will continue to speak my truth to the two little beings in my house. I will surround myself with people who want to build and not destroy. I will continue to share truth on social media, but I will not be consumed with anger every time I see a Trump sign or a MAGA hat. I will not give “it” more power. My husband put on a fishing hat that had an American flag made out of fish on it, and I wanted to rip it off of his head and set it on fire. Why have we allowed Trump and his supporters to ruin our opinion of this country as a whole? It isn’t the flag’s fault that people are racist, ignorant and greedy. These people have always existed and will always exist, but I hope that by being a living example of mindfulness and someone who values community, that my kids will follow suit and that, they too, will trust their inner compass to lead them in the direction of making this world a better place. 

I pray to God, Buddha, Krishna and whoever is listening, that we don’t get four more years of this thing, but even if Biden and Harris win, this country’s problems will not be over. 

By |2020-10-29T16:07:32-04:00October 29th, 2020|

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